they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
