Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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