Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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