I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My life is pants optional.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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