As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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