i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
