i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
