His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
