i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
