were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
