the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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