So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Randomize
