i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
