Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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