Princesses don't give blow jobs
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The uberlube is also flammable
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
