Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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