My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
