You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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