nut hugger
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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