i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
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French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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