You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize