did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
