Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
