She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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