It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
