shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
