Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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