Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My liver just had a heart attack.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
