i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
