haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i think i have herpe
just one?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
