she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
