So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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