Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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