I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
