When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
