He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
