apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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