I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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