I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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