Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
