when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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