Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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