Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize