And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
