have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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