So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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