I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
