if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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