my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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