just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
