Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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