The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
