He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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