yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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