Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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