Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
