Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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