And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize