We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
