Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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