Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
