Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
There's even glitter on my cock...
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