I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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